30 Funny & Inspirational Ron White Quotes

Which are the best Ron White quotes?

Ron White is a Grammy-nominated comedian and actor. White is best known for being a member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

White was nominated for a ‘Grammy Award’ for ‘Best Comedy Album’ in 2014 for ‘A Little Unprofessional’. He also wrote the book ‘I Had the Right to Remain Silent But I Didn’t Have the Ability’, which become the ‘New York Times’ bestseller list.

Here’s a collection of the most Inspirational Ron White quotes:


30 Funny & Inspirational Ron White Quotes

1. “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” – Ron White

2. “I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.” – Ron White

3. “I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.” – Ron White

4. “If I’m not in the theatre, I’m in an open mic night or doing a guest set at the Comedy Club, or whatever, just trying to develop stuff.” – Ron White

5. “The hardest that I’ve laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed ’til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.” – Ron White

6. “You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.” – Ron White


7th of 30 Ron White Quotes 

7. “Here’s how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don’t even see me coming.” – Ron White


8. “I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.” – Ron White

9. “I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.” – Ron White

10. “I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.” – Ron White

11. “The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really.” – Ron White

12. “You can’t fix stupid.” – Ron White

13. “Everybody I know is a joke writer.” – Ron White

14. “I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.” – Ron White

15. “I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.” – Ron White

16. “I’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.” – Ron White


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17. “People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.” – Ron White


18. “There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.” – Ron White

19. “”Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.”” – Ron White

20. “I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.” – Ron White

21. “I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.” – Ron White

22. “I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.” – Ron White

23. “Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.” – Ron White

24. “There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.” – Ron White

25. “Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!” – Ron White

26. “I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.” – Ron White


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27. “I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.” – Ron White


28. “I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.” – Ron White

29. “My only goal is to make you laugh, not tell you the truth.” – Ron White

30. “The next time you have a thought… let it go.” – Ron White



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