44 Wonderful & Funny Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

Which are your favorite Jeff Foxworthy quotes?

Jeff Foxworthy is an American stand-up comedian and television personality.

Foxworthy is best known for his “you might be a redneck” jokes and is a member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. In 1995 he released ‘Games Rednecks Play’ received a 1996 Grammy nomination for Best Spoken Comedy Album.

He has released six comedy albums such as ‘Ron White Blue Collar Comedy: The Next Generation’. He also featured on a television show with his own sitcom called ‘The Jeff Foxworthy Show’.

Here’s our collection of the funniest Jeff Foxworthy quotes:


44 Wonderful & Funny Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

1. “Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?”– Jeff Foxworthy

2. “I had to perform at the White House for the president, That’s always kind of a weird set to try to put together.”– Jeff Foxworthy

3. “I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don’t want to give two or three more hours away.”– Jeff Foxworthy

4. “I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.”– Jeff Foxworthy

5. “If your neighbors think you’re a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.”– Jeff Foxworthy

6. “My grandma’s the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she’s doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!”– Jeff Foxworthy

7. “That’s the great thing about a tractor. You can’t really hear the phone ring.”– Jeff Foxworthy

8. “Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.”– Jeff Foxworthy

9. “Country music is about new love and it’s about old love.”– Jeff Foxworthy


10th of 44 Jeff Foxworthy Quotes 

10. “I don’t know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan’s Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.”– Jeff Foxworthy


11. “I never thought I would do a game show, but now I guess I’m now officially in that genre.”– Jeff Foxworthy

12. “I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.”– Jeff Foxworthy

13. “If you’ve ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.”– Jeff Foxworthy

14. “My father-in-law gets up at 5 o’clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don’t know why there’s this big rush to do this.”– Jeff Foxworthy

15. “Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.”– Jeff Foxworthy

16. “There’s no downtime anymore.”– Jeff Foxworthy

17. “You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers… I don’t remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, ’cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!”– Jeff Foxworthy

18. “Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother – you’re not sure what you’ve got but you’re pretty sure you’re not going to like it.”– Jeff Foxworthy

19. “Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?”– Jeff Foxworthy


20th of 44 Jeff Foxworthy Quotes 

20. “I love comedy. God has given me this platform.”– Jeff Foxworthy


21. “I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is fourteen. I’ve got four more summers with her. I’m not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.”– Jeff Foxworthy

22. “If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.”– Jeff Foxworthy

23. “Little girls love dolls. They just don’t love doll clothes. We’ve got four thousand dolls and ain’t one of them got a stitch of clothes on.”– Jeff Foxworthy

24. “People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I’m very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.”– Jeff Foxworthy

25. “The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn’t really make me mad anymore.”– Jeff Foxworthy

26. “When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.”– Jeff Foxworthy

27. “Between New York and LA, there’s 200 million people that aren’t hip, and they don’t want to be hip.”– Jeff Foxworthy

28. “For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life’s list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.”– Jeff Foxworthy

29. “I know if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”– Jeff Foxworthy


30th of 44 Jeff Foxworthy Quotes 

30. “I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.”– Jeff Foxworthy


31. “If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you’ll be going, you know, we’re alright. We are dang near royalty.”– Jeff Foxworthy

32. “It’s a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.”– Jeff Foxworthy

33. “Now, it’s true I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she’s been givin’ me lately.”– Jeff Foxworthy

34. “The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He’s got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.”– Jeff Foxworthy

35. “When I first started out, being from the South and going to New York or Chicago, people kept telling me to get voice lessons and ‘lose that stupid accent you got.’ And I’m like, ‘Well, where I come from, you have the stupid accent.’”– Jeff Foxworthy

36. “Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn’t tell their therapist.”– Jeff Foxworthy

37. “Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that’s a bonus, and if you don’t, you still won’t hate going to work.”– Jeff Foxworthy

38. “I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.”– Jeff Foxworthy

39. “I say, If everybody in this house lives where it’s God first, friends and family second and you third, we won’t ever have an argument.” – Jeff Foxworthy


40th of 44 Jeff Foxworthy Quotes 

40. “If men have a smell it’s usually an accident.”– Jeff Foxworthy


41. “If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.”– Jeff Foxworthy

42. “Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.”– Jeff Foxworthy

43. “The designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.”– Jeff Foxworthy

44. “What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.”– Jeff Foxworthy



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