50 All-Time Favorite Umbrella Academy Quotes

Which are your favorite Umbrella Academy quotes?

The Umbrella Academy is an American superhero web television series. Based on the comic book series written by Gerard Way.

The tv-show is produced by Borderline Entertainment, Dark Horse Entertainment, and Universal Cable Productions. It’s focused on a family of adopted sibling superheroes who reunite to solve the mystery of their father’s death and the threat of an impending apocalypse.

Here’s our collection of the all-time favorite Umbrella Academy quotes:


50 All-Time Favorite Umbrella Academy Quotes

1. “Yeah, why don’t you tell that to Luke Skywalker? I know you don’t get it, but that is an excellent reference.” – Diego

2. “The last time I saw this one, she had me suspended mid-air sucking the life out of me with energy tentacles.” – Diego

3. “The commission will hunt us down wherever and whenever we go.” – Five

4. “You can either stay here and wait for the IKEA mafia to come back to kill you, or you can come with me.” – Five

5. “Everything in our new life is connected to a plot to assassinate the President. That can’t be a coincidence.” – Diego

6. “Not that apocalypse, this is a new one.” – Five

7. “They are gone like a fart that went poof.” – Klaus

8. “I’m just gonna go murder Mom, I’ll be right back.” – Klaus

9. “You don’t have to join the military to become a man. Don’t sacrifice yourself — because I love you.” – Klaus


10th of 50 Umbrella Academy Quotes

10. “Nobody needs your shit, Klaus. That’s why you are always alone.” – Ben


11. “When something seems too perfect, it’s usually anything but.” – Allison

12. “You don’t get to blame your problems on anyone but yourself.” – Allison

13. “Eternal peace is probably overrated.” – Klaus

14. “I know what it’s like to love dangerous people. Difference is they love me back.” – Diego

15. “If you believe in yourself, just once, great things are gonna happen for you.” – Vanya

16. “What would possess me to adopt seven ill-mannered malcontents?” – Reginald Hargreeves

17. “I know what it’s like being stuck in time, thinking this is how you are going to live out the rest of your life. On the run, and not knowing if you’re ever gonna see the people you love again, and to be in an unfamiliar world.” – Five

18. “I know this is impossible, but did we all get sexier?” – Klaus

19. “We all wanted to be loved by a man incapable of giving love.” – Five


20th of 50 Umbrella Academy Quotes

20. “You have given me the greatest gift of a lifetime. You let me feel alive for the first time. You helped me find hope again. That’s a wonderful thing.” – Sissy


21. “Vanya, of all people you should hate Dad the most.” – Luther

22. “We didn’t choose this life, we’re just living in it.” – Five

23. “You look like Antonio Banderas with the long hair. I just thought you should know.” – Klaus

24. “I hate to disappoint you Benny boy but you are not getting in this body.” – Klaus

25. “Unfortunately ghosts can’t time travel.” – Klaus

26. “Family barbecues are about to get real weird.” – Klaus

27. “I need your help too, I’m scared. And for the first time in my life, I don’t want to do it alone. I want my family by my side.” – Vanya

28. “Why can’t I control myself like the rest of you guys?” – Vanya

29. “I would take my year with you over a lifetime with anybody else.” – Ray


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30. “We have to risk everything to save everything.” – Luther


31. “Don’t go chasing waterfalls, stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re use to.” – Klaus

32. “I’m going to tell Sissy that I love her.” – Vanya

33. “Can you hug me as I go? It’s been a long time.” – Ben

34. “My cult is going to be so pissed… I told them we had until 2019.” – Klaus

35. “I need a hit of sucrose. I’m heading to the vending machine.” – Hazel

36. “Do you know how hard it is to trust people when your whole childhood was bullshit and manipulation?” – Diego

37. “I’ve compared every man I’ve ever met to you.” – Allison

38. “I’m a complete and total fraud.” – Klaus

39. “I ran into some trouble at the asylum, during the escape. These three blond guys. Total cowboys.” – Lila


40th of 50 Umbrella Academy Quotes

40. “I thought it was my job to keep everyone safe, and I just made it worse. I never wanted to be the bad guy.” – Luther


41. “Hope it turns out better than your marriage, huh?” – Diego

42. “You are depriving some village of their idiot.” – Klaus

43. “The clock is ticking on doomsday. Just tell me that when I need you, you’ll be ready.” – Five

44. “I can’t believe I got shanked by my own father.” – Diego

45. “I heard a rumor… you punched yourself in the face.” – Allison (to Diego)

46. “The only thing The Umbrella Academy knows about love is how to screw it up.” – Klaus

47. “I think maybe you’re the only person who really knows who I am and still likes me anyway.” – Allison

48. “If you’re raised to believe nothing about you is special, if the benchmark is extraordinary, what to you do if you’re not?” – Vanya

49. “This is going to sound crazy but, I’m your son.” – Luther

50. “The ties that bind you together make you stronger than you are alone.” – Sir Reginald Hargreeves



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